ABOUT
A public register of ridiculous titles. One holder each, one price each, and anyone can pay to take yours.
Every group of people has titles that already exist informally. Someone is the one who always books the table. Someone is the one who deploys on Fridays. Someone is, unmistakably, the CEO of Bad Decisions. Those titles get handed around in conversation and then forgotten.
Titles.lol makes them official, public, and slightly stressful. You claim one, your name goes on a certificate with a serial number and a rank, and it stays yours — until somebody wants it more than you do and outbids you. Then their name is on it and yours moves to the record of people who used to hold it.
There is no algorithm deciding what matters here. Rank is the money, and nothing else. Right now the top of the register is 🚀 CEO of Tomorrow at $3,000.
The register today
3
Titles in the register
3
Currently held
$3,065
Paid, all time
0
Curated titles
Straight answers
Is this an investment?
No. A title is a collectible status item, like a novelty trophy that happens to be public and verifiable. There is no resale market, no payout, and nothing to cash in. Buy one because it is funny and true, not because you expect money back.
Where does the money go?
To us. Every claim, takeover and defense is revenue for the site — the previous holder is never paid. That is deliberate: it keeps the mechanic honest, avoids anything resembling a securities product, and means nobody is buying titles hoping to flip them.
Do I need an account?
No. There are no accounts, no passwords and no app. You give an email address purely so the register can recognise you later — it is what proves you are the holder if you ever want to defend a title. We never send anything to it. No receipts, no newsletter, no notifications.
What if someone claims something offensive?
Slurs, harassment, sexual content, trademarks and impersonation of real people are blocked when a title is created and checked again when it is paid for. Borderline phrases go to a review queue and can be revoked. No money is returned for a revoked title.
Can I get my money back?
No. All sales are final. The single exception is a charge we could not fulfil — if two people take the same title in the same instant, only one can be given it, and the other charge is voided rather than kept.
The Ministry
The Ministry of Titles is the fiction; the register is real. Titles are issued, recorded, and re-issued to whoever currently holds them. Certificates are generated at the moment you ask for one, so they always reflect the truth right now — including the day the title stops being yours.